


What Happens In Vegas Doesn’t Always Stay In Vegas

by bloodandrainbows



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Drunkenness, Frank in a dress, M/M, Vegas, Wedding, also, are they married? Are they not?, the world may never know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-11 23:18:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17456171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodandrainbows/pseuds/bloodandrainbows
Summary: Frank and Gerard wake up in a hotel room in Vegas. Frank is in a wedding dress. They can’t remember the events of the previous night.





	What Happens In Vegas Doesn’t Always Stay In Vegas

Gerard woke up in an eerily unfamiliar hotel room that was almost white enough to be a hospital. For a moment he wondered if he'd died, but then the hangover hit him, and he was  _ certain _ the afterlife wouldn't suck this bad.

 

He tried to move his head and take in his surroundings, even though the movement hurt like hell. There was a pile of clothing and luggage in one corner, but no Frank. Gerard had just enough time to wonder where he was before he heard a loud  _ thunk _ in the direction of the bathroom. A moment later Frank stumbled out, wearing a fairly long white dress.

 

“Frankie,” Gerard managed, “why are you wearing a dress?”

 

Frank looked down at himself for a second, then said, “I really wish I knew.” When he brought his hands to his head, Gerard noticed he was wearing matching white gloves.

 

He shuffled over to the bed and laid down next to Gerard. He turned his head towards him, and said “Gee. Gee, I think we're married.”

 

The Gee in question, once again, wondered if he was dead.

 

After a little while, Frank got up again and wandered over to the pile of clothing. Gerard stifled a laugh as he watched him try to get out of the wedding gown, stumbling and cursing like a fool who’d just gotten married in Vegas but couldn’t remember. He managed, however, getting back into his regular clothes and returning to the bed.

 

“Should we call Ray?”

 

“He’ll be pissed at us,” Gerard said.

 

“Do  _ you _ know how to find out if we’re married?” Frank asked, looking at Gerard and laughing weakly. Gerard sat up slowly, trying not to encourage the throbbing in his head.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I suppose we should call Ray.”

 

“I need more sleep first, man. I have a hangover from Hell.”

 

***

 

Gerard paced on one side of the room while Frank sat on the bed, cell phone on speaker in his hand. Ray had yet to stop laughing, and the guys couldn’t really blame him– two of his best friends had gone to Vegas and may or may not have gotten married. It was a fairly amusing situation, after all.

 

Eventually he calmed down enough to say, “Did you kiss the bride, Gee? God, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”

 

“Fuck off, Ray, we need your help here,” Frank said. Gee tried not to think about whether or not he’d kissed the bride. It doesn’t matter, he told himself, whether we kissed or not. He doesn’t want me, anyhow.

 

Frank let himself think about it. He already thought about it often enough as it was.

 

“Are we in the same hotel?” Ray asked.

 

“I don’t know what hotel we’re in, Ray. The room is white like a hospital,” Gerard responded.

 

“We’re in the same one. I’ll come to your room, look at the phone to find which number.”

 

Ray arrived a few minutes later, laughing when he saw the crumpled dress on top of the pile of luggage. He went to pick it up, dropping the matching gloves onto the floor and laughing even harder when he saw them. “Frankie boy, I must say, you have  _ excellent  _ taste.”

 

Frank flipped him off in response.

 

“Alright, alright. Come on, let’s go to the courthouse. We need to ask them if you’re married. It’s public record,” Ray said, still laughing, laughing all the way.

 

When they arrived at the courthouse and asked about their marriage status, they were told to sit on a bench and wait. The bench was large enough for all three of them, but only barely, and Frank and Gerard were pressed up against one another to a degree that would have been uncomfortable if it weren’t super, super comfortable. Not that either of them would ever admit that. Of course not.

 

They waited for what seemed simultaneously like five minutes and five hours before the angry looking woman who’d told them to sit came out and told them that they were, in fact, not married. Ray shook his head slightly, seemingly unmoved by the news; Frankie and Gee, however, were less nonchalant about it. Frank breathed a sigh of relief and nearly fell off the bench, while Gerard jumped up into a victory stance. Both of them felt something else at the news, though, something they refused to acknowledge.

 

***

 

Back at the hotel, drinking in a circle on the bed, the three musketeers discussed the situation. Well. Gerard and Frank asked Ray some pressing questions.

 

“Dude, weren’t we with you last night?”

 

“At the beginning, yeah,” he said, not quite convincing the other two.

 

“Ray, man. What aren’t you telling us?” Frank asked. Ray looked him in the eye for a good two seconds before bursting into laughter once again.

 

“Okay, okay. I’ll tell you what happened.”

 

What had happened was, the three had been out drinking and fucking around in Vegas like people visiting Vegas do. Ray, not having had as much to drink as the other two, realized how inebriated the others were, and decided to do one simple thing: dare Frank to buy and wear a wedding dress, and drop them off in a hotel.

 

“Why in the hell would you do that?” Gerard asked, after staring at his friend in astonishment.

 

“Tired of you two eye-fucking each other and not going anywhere with it. Thought maybe if you thought you were married you’d stay that way. Also, seeing Frank in that dress last night was worth it.”

 

Frank and Gerard were silent. It was the phrase “eye-fucking”. Considering that neither of them could admit their feelings for one another, the callout felt awkward, like someone had been reading both of their diaries and decided to recite the part about that weird sex dream they’d had about their history teacher in 10th grade at the family dinner table.

 

Nonetheless, they looked at one another. And they both realized that Ray kind of had a point, actually. The fucker.

 

And so Gerard got up and walked to the other end of the room, to the pile of luggage on which the dress and gloved still sat. He picked up one of the gloves and turned it over in his hand, studying it closely. He looked at Frank, who sat still on the bed next to Ray, staring at Gerard like he didn’t know where else to put his eyes.

 

Gerard walked over to the bed and stood in front of Frank. Then, he got down on one knee, and held the glove out to Frank. “So, whaddya say, Frankie? Wanna marry me?”

 

***

 

Ray stood in the center, under the tacky red heart in the wedding chapel. Frank and Gerard stood facing one another in front of him, Frank back in the wedding dress. He didn’t say why he’d chosen to wear it, he just insisted that he should.

 

“Ray, we love you, but uh, dude, are you like, ordained? How are you gonna marry us?”

 

“I’m an ordained dudeist priest.”

 

“Dudeist?”

 

“The Big Lebowski. The Dude abides.”

 

“Ah.”

 

Ray said the magic marriage words, and the other two heard him, though they weren’t really listening. When he got to the question part, Frank said, “I do.”

 

Gerard said, “I do.”

 

And this time, Gerard did kiss the bride.


End file.
